| Sunday, August 9th, 2009 |
| 2:26 am |
the man with a plan
its been awhile since in i wrote this.....i forgot that i still had a livejournal.....now all the cool folks have twitter....i have one but barely get on it because its really stupid.....anyways things have been going pretty good lately.....still up to the same old stuff but the past couple of months i have met a ton of folks..... some i have really come to like and a few others i dont really care for....its weird being in a fraternity or soroity because your constanly meeting folks left and right.... work is work golf is golf probaley will never change well at least i hope the golf part does so its gonna be my forth year at UNF.....holy jesus i start subsitute teaching next semester hopefully at paxon or stanton.....i still have two years left but the future is looking pretty good.....ill be 22 soon i sure as heck dont feel like 22 but i guess i need to catch up with that whenever i get some time off i plan do some backpacking in georgia its a quiet neck of the woods where me and the man up top can have a little one on one time. getting up the darn mountain might be a challenge but its worth the reward even though i have two years left in school im stilll looking to buy a Brooks Brothers suit, a black lab named Buck Paco or Jack, and maybe even my own island (will never happen)....ill keep my fingers crossed |
| Friday, May 29th, 2009 |
| 12:45 am |
small victories
so a lot has been going on lately... pretty much the same stuff that ive been up to for the past couple of weeks... my summer classes are going pretty good right now.....im on an upward climb to get my grades back up to where they need to be... in the end i have a goal of getting all B's or something like that....these upper level poly sci classes are tougher than i thought anyways.... after all of the stuff that happend this semester i am a big fan of small victories....if you can truely bless yourself with small victories in ur life the bigger ones will come along.... i know that theres a lot i need to change but i can see progression...i rarely go out drinking like used to...besides half the people i met in bars are sketchy as anything.... going to see alkaline trio a couple of weeks ago really made me get back into the realm of things....i flew hans solo but i could really care less.....if want to do something im gonna do it no matter what....i hope one day i can maybe share their amazing music and vibe they bring into my life with someone else.... pretty much the entire summer is gonna consists of working and trying to get my golf game in the swing of things....its funny i treat my golf game like a life challenge....whenever i dont play well i get sorta stressed....in fact its the worst ive played in about two years.....but like life golf is a matter of testing ur patience and dedication.....i love the game of golf even though i suck right now...even though its not as enjoyable i am trying to get my swing better on a final note a lot of my friends are going to be graduating a year from or have already graduated..... i still have two years left....i am glad im not trying to rush things yet im not being a lazy person about achieving my goals....in two years i pray to god i can teach APUSH APGOV or some sort of history in a half decent school....my ultimate dream is to go back and teach at paxon......and not have to work on sundays so i can go to church....when that day comes i cannot wait.....i actually have a sunday morning off so im going to mass with my grandmother and taking her out to brunch....should be a good time later folks |
| Wednesday, April 8th, 2009 |
| 3:15 am |
would someone or something please come and help me get otta this hole. i know i got myself into it but jesus christ get me otta it. i sit here or lay here piss drunk in my bed on a tuesday night. when you have feelings for someone your heart is broken your taken advantage of and then you cant even realize you made a mistake and then people tell you are a fool and you still go by your gut instinct....then all along you know your wrong it hurts. this was my first "serious" realtionship i guess, maybe i took it too seriously, maybe for pete sake i deserved i dont know i was in a hole already now this semester this put the icing on the cake. do not ask me how i am gonna write this paper due thursday. jesus christ do not ask me how i am gonna crawl to the end with passing all my classes i have failed miserably in all my goals and aspirations. i am apart of an organization that has made great strides but is falling apart slowly but surely. i seriously do not know where i belong currently in my life. im sorry i cannot walk into a church. im sorry i cant spend my entire life on the westside with my parents and my 4 or 5 friends from work. i just do not know what to do, or who to trust, or even what to do next. i might seem sorta pathetic but oh well take or leave it my friend |
| Tuesday, July 29th, 2008 |
| 11:40 pm |
lets get down to the real truth....
when a semi truck comes about two inches from crashing you into a concrete barrier, it should scare the living daylights out of anyone. i do not know for how long now, all the crap that ive been doing to myself. through my reasoning which you can laugh at i feel that it was someone knocking on the door. pretty much God giving me another opporunity to fix myself. yes i know that we are not all perfect, but i am close to being a grown adult who cannot take responsibilty for his actions, but instead uses excuse after excuse to bail me out. call me flaky call me an asshole its true. my grades, my realtionships, and my lifestyle reflect it. i always half ass everything. start out strong but finish weak. school ends for my tommorow..... im gonna try and spend the next three weeks patching up the holes and getting things set in stone once and for all. sounds selfish but if i continue to go out and be the same person i am today... im gonna be in a world of hurt. i almost was tonight but thank god of anti lock brakes. its time to "start a revolution....make an impact...leave a legacy |
| Saturday, April 19th, 2008 |
| 12:49 am |
stuff.....
wow summer is almost here and i do not know what to do with myself. there is soo much going on change with a snap of a finger. and i love it so just lets keep it coming. anyways THE ALKALINE TRIO IS FINALLY COMING JUNE 17TH TO FREEBIRD CAFE. Pretty much waited all my freaken life to go and see my favorite band. I dont know what I'm gonna do when I see them. Anyways lots of awesome stuff happening UIFI University of Indiana a fraternity leadership conference that is gonna be awesome Kristin Graduation.... my only sister is going into the real world... I'm gonna pray Me getting the heck otta the bestside for real. As of now I'll be throwing down in Baymeadows of Fort Caroline with my brothers Me getting a new job (I'm for real this time hopefully) Alkaline Trio Kappa Sig leadership Conclave in July....... Right now being more busy then Ive ever been, has forced me too focus on the awesome small things that are in my life. I"m slowly returning to the faith I once had. I do party a bit more and go out then I used to. But as long as you dont act a fool then your all set. The more spiritual mediation I have the better things get. I see myself in three years working for a non profit organization or the city of jacksonville trying to turn Springfield into the charm it once was. Through tax incentives business will invest and bring new life to a stuggling area. Adios |
| Wednesday, February 27th, 2008 |
| 1:35 am |
It can be that bad
Lately it is come and go come and go. I know then when I graduate from college Im moving to Atlanta. Its the dirty south with a big city attitude. Its got everything. Anyways I cannot remember what I did a week ago, and I cannot tell ya what Im gonna do next week. I take things day by day killer. I have thought of myself as being an asshole the past couple weeks. I have been talking too much shit and cursing a little too much. But I'm always there for my friends and I'm a gentleman. So I guess Im not that bad of a person. Spring break is around the corner like I said I have no idea what the heck I'm doing. All I know is I'm getting some juice. Maybe I'll take a trip to Gainsville. I used to hate GVILLE and love Orlando but its the other way around. People from Orlando are stupid, even Walt Disney himself. Its way too crowded and expensive to live down there. And the golf courses suck. I havent been to a show in awhile, I think I shall go I witnessed a horrific car accident, a person that I knew died in a car accident, and I almost was in one in the past two days. Something is not right. But for some reason I am putting all the negative aspects of daily living behind me. Adios |
| Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 |
| 11:11 pm |
i really really wonder
it feels like that i am stilll slipping back into the past aka last year. my grades are down the toilet, im broke, and im slipping into sketchiness with people from the past that ive had trouble with. i know change is not quick but damn it if i do not put my full effort into what i truely have a desire for im gonna be in a world of hurt. its been past due for me to get stuff done. hell even if i go two weeks without getting my golf game in then oh well. i really need to focus on school and put a 100 percent effort not a 60 percent. with being in a major that is probaley the toughest well accept rocket science its time. march 15th is gonna be the best day ever. spring break and done with other stuff. but that week before is going to be HELL. lets just say that. suivorman needs to go come out with some new episodes. maybe he should go jump in a volcano or a hurricane and surive there for a week. i really havent had time to watch tv, but oh well. thats why god made springbreak. while others are getting drunk in panama city and other various destinations illl be throwin it on jax beach with some coronas or other at my house with some natural light. i meet a girl a couple weeks ago who i thought would be awesome turns out shes got her priorities mixed up. im notgoing out and letting my hair loose but not three or four nights a week. ive been really picky in that department lately. but who gives a shit. if you ever see me check out my new tatoo its half a sleeve. adios |
| Monday, January 21st, 2008 |
| 12:53 pm |
wow
i work with a bunch of idiots but they are my friends. like this one dude told me he was so drunk of everclear that his friend who was also drunk ran over his foot with his truck. and he couldnt even feel it. isnt that nice to know. this past couple weeks have been awesome. but things are about to get a lot better adios |
| Wednesday, January 9th, 2008 |
| 1:01 am |
Listen to them
Listen To the Smoking Popes good stuff. Especially their album from Live at the Metro released in 1999 off Victory Records. That record label was so much better back in the day. Now they have gay ass bands on there like With Blood Comes Cleansing Aiden and a bunch of other hoopla. Though Bayside is still sweet. Adios kids |
| Sunday, January 6th, 2008 |
| 12:13 am |
ooh yeh
christmas break gone i guess that means i cant be a lazy bum anymore. school starts on monday and so does a lot of other stuff. i learned a lot and i matured a lot over this break. im not as angry when i drive and i know hard work is the only way otta here. also drinking and driving is bad..... again it is awesome that the jags won tonight. but im sorry the patriots just like the soxs come numero uno. girls are cool but sometimes they bring a lot of baggage and drama. i do not need all of that but i know for sure ill find a cool girl who likes to smoke hookah and listen to nada surf and alkaline trio and then go out to dinner. its really cold im ready for summer for pete sake we live in florida |
| Tuesday, December 25th, 2007 |
| 11:56 pm |
westside till i die
after such a long wait with 50 work week final exams and crazy hoopla christmas day finally came. i got my biggest wish to finally go to mass with my grandmother (first time in like a year). it was awesome and im soo soo ready. besides my drunk uncle passing out everyone in my family was happy. my mom loved her ipod accessories and the ole man was feeling big time with hockey tickets and some golf shirts. i know within the blink of an eye school will start soon. i have seen what my crazy random midnight booty calls to the northside can do. and the funny thing is that im not even drunk. if i was i would have more class and respect for myself. i have quit smoking for good. yeh it was all nice feeling dandy and stuff but im not letting that stupid shit get in the way of me doing what i need to do. it did and yes im westside till i die but maybe not for so long. i cannot wait to move out. i mean my parents are totally cool but its time for me to move onto the next chapter of my life. febuary long tripaje to tampa thank you jesus. i turn 21 in september. the olympics in china. the presidental election (thank god we need to get someone higher than a 5 grade iq in there). next year massachuetts gambling whiskey drinking shotgun shooting golfing endless fun. wait you can golf in the snow you idiot. me halfway or "susposed" to be halfway done with college i got a lonnnnnggg way to go. 31 credit hours after 3 semesterws is not saying much oh well. im not making any new years resolutions i know what needs to be done most importante. ill let the rest fall into place. later hater. but numero uno for me do not repeat mistakes you have already done in the past thats been the story of my freaken life lately. this year ive seen some of my close friends come and go but i have some new bros to throw down with. im not gonna sit here and mope about the past im sick of that crap im looking towards the future i have soo soo soo many ideas and stuff i wanna try out. soo many things i wanna get back into. if you get in the way im dropping bows. hasta luego se Current Mood: dandy |
| Wednesday, November 21st, 2007 |
| 3:34 pm |
am i total fuck up i dont know sometimes i think that
this past semester i had a lot of goals set for me. join a frat, break my gpa above a 3.0, and move otta my house finally. i accomplished one of those barely and the others i cannot due to my laziness. i always have these high goals in mind but i dont have the effort to accomplish them. that has been my fucken life story. ever since like the begining of high school. it is hard to break an addiction. no its not other people or drinking getting in the way its myself. i have "no motivational skills" to motivate myself. but im really now thinking breaking up my gf was a good idear. just like every ortega lady friend she was a good digger. i have noticed i have an addiction towards smart girls. so heres the plan for the next spring so that by summer till HASTA LUEGO WESTSIDE ITS STARTING TO GET A LITTLE TOO HOODRICH FOR ME IN FACT ITS STARTING TO BE TOO HOODRICH FOR SOME BROTHAS. As far as Christmas break im gonnna have a lotta fun (if u know what i mean) chill with some bros and hoes and just LIVE for pete sake. kristin is right i expect life to be this "cookie cutter image" and if its not that i flip out. im just gonna start putting a little more effort into my role and then the rest is all gravy baby. like gravy that u dip with a biscuit. adios |
| Tuesday, November 20th, 2007 |
| 5:04 pm |
thanks a lot girl
some people can let u know that u have probelms but it takes yourself to change. no matter what anyone says to ya or even does to u, a person cannot change until he/she realizes that he has a probelm. lets face it everyone gets mad her and there but for me i did have an anger probelm. well thats gone baby. i realized that i cannot change people and the things they say and do to me, but i can change how i take things. this is soo soo true at work. i had soo much hatred for one lady because she made my life a living hell. but i realized that i made my own life a living hell just because the way i took things. now if she has a probelm with something and cant communicate in a professional way i just laugh and walk away all day. road rage i tend to have a probelm with people who can drive but now i just enjoy the drive and all that alkaline trio stuff i play. adios |
| Sunday, September 23rd, 2007 |
| 11:26 pm |
drink drink drink.............lots of water
Do I have too much on my plate? I often wonder why sometimes I dream big but I dont have the work ethic or integrity to get what I want in life. Yeh I know what I have accomplished but Im so capable. But some how goals wise Ive always ended up short because I never stepped it up when the time was necessary. Well with working 30 hours a week 15 credit hours and freaken Kappa Sigma I have what I want. But is truely gonna bring me happiness. Whenever you need to let energy out throw it Alkaline Trio GODMANIT and scream ur lungs out. Best thing since cottage cheese. Maybe one day I'll have a lady friend who would wanna do that together or maybe even go catch a red soxs game. Not be a selfish bitch and talk about herself and her boring ass life the entire time. Lately I havent been ... walking in the light of God. Just take a lot at the way I talk now. Whenever you are around people that curse you will curse... duh. EXCEPTION being on 9A 1000 a.m or being behind an old lady on Roosevelt Blvd. But thats gotta come to a fat screeching halt there. I'm eventually gonna get my broke westside ass otta here and move to the Southside aka the "trendy/flashy" side. But I'm tired of getting drunk and TIMUQUANA just go hang themselves. Wow I have gotten a lot off my chest. Fantasy football is awesome... I'm gonna win 500 bucks hopefully. I havent played golf in a month I'm tired of being broke. But I got what I need so I'm straight. Hasta luego |
| Thursday, August 9th, 2007 |
| 12:30 am |
Lets get some things straight
This summer I might not have traveled to Europe or discovered the cure to obesity, but it has taught me a lot about myself. Yeh I didnt take summer classes or really get much done it did teach a lot me about myself. Lets admit I have made more mistakes than I have ever made. But there are some things that I learned.... The Pearl is the worst fucken place ever. All the people that work there can kiss my white westside chicken eating ass. If you mess with my friends or family I'll kill you I have learn for forgive those who have troubled me in the past I am more accepting of other people's beliefs and lifestyles. Including gay people though I dont believe it is right its their lives Hardcore music sucks and it all sounds the same minus like the 3 bands I still like... XXX is gay you preach about changing the world but have u really? Christianity is not about shoving the word down peple throats its about living a pure life and always lending a helping hand. My dog Winston is the shit George W. Bush can go blow himself along with Dick Cheney Im joining a fratnerity this year its a new begining new friendships new opprounities and a chance to help others (something that I have always have been missing for awhile) |
| Sunday, July 1st, 2007 |
| 10:25 pm |
Quite occupied with yesterday
Well lets see just another boring ass week went down. Drinking beer in the TSI parking lot is gay b/c it was so dead. I am so sick and tired of doing the same ole shit every weekend. I am also tired of trying to find happiness in realtionships/friendships that are basically dead. Its not my fault b/c people change. But lately I havent meet any new folks. This city is full of fucken lame ass coke heads, white trash, and country rednecks. That pretty much sums up the majority of the people. No Im not moving out of this city, b/c I cannot afford it. I just wanna travel meet new people but ever since high school I havent done a damn thing. I wanna do something big I wanna do something I'll be known for even if it might be bad. No Im not gonna invent like a wheel, but it would be cool to be able to be good in something but I havent discovered it yet (AKA MY FUTURE JOB). All I know is that when I graduate from college im fucken moving hasta luego u chibatos. and che che and me shall grab the yayho |
| Wednesday, June 27th, 2007 |
| 2:12 am |
What a basket case
Currently I am employed and have the wonderful opporunity to work with many and skilled employees. Just a couple days ago a crackhead who they pay a boat load of money to draw pictures of his girlfriends crashed a golf cart into a dumpster and totaled it. How on earth can you do that. His compadre who goes by Mike or Mike "broke nose skank" Jones is susposed to hook a fellow brother up with a fake id well he hasnt. So I found out hes a pathological lyer. Unreal. Me and Caitlin broke up honestly I really didnt see us two going that far. But it was cool hanging out with her and stuff. All she did was freaken fall alseep in my bed woo wee lots of fun. A need a lady friend who wants to go travel and have a fun time. I am defintley looking forward to Massachuetts. Drinking moonshine playing golf going to Boston and a Red Sox game should be a blast. And me and Corey are susposed to go up to Maine with his college friends and go white water rafting unreal. As far as the rest of this summer I'll either be on the golf course, pearl/tsi, work, or in my bad. In two months I"ll be 20. OH MY FUCKEN GOD IM GETTING OLD. Oh yeh Im buying a freaken 12 gadge shotgun bitch u better watch out. Later |
| Wednesday, June 13th, 2007 |
| 11:36 pm |
I reallly need to get the fuck otta here
I have pretty much been doing whatever the heck I want lately its been quite nice. But things have gotten quite old especially when you are out of school. Me and the mullet man are going to Massachuettts for a week. Its kinda gay b/c its really small town where my relatives live but I will be going to Boston for at least two days. By then I should have my fake id (thanks Mike Skank Broke Nose Jones) aka guy I work with. I shall be drinking even more Malibu. You shouldnt pop pills either thats gay. Uhh my golf game has gotten better. I wanna want to go backpacking or go to Chicago but thats not gonna happen. Im hapy with Boston. I cant wait till the new parts of the towncenter open up Urban Outfitters chea. Uhh oh yeh my new Alkaline Trio tat is fucken shit. No more tatoos for AWHILE. I need to save mula if I ever want to get the fuck out of this country for awhile. Looking back a year ago I would of never thought that I would of been like this. I still and always will believe in you know what but I hate the crap that some people bring into it. AKA the close mindedness making a prophet saving x amount of people political power. Adios. |
| Friday, May 11th, 2007 |
| 11:58 pm |
Wash ur filth down that ghetto ass drain
I havent had that much class lately. I have gone below my standards when it comes to well u know what. I am tired of random hook ups with no meaning and its getting kind of tired. I feel like a skank sometimes. I have all of this crap of my body that makes me so impure. That is probaley the biggest thing in my life. Keeping my thoughts actions apperance and words pure. Like Jesus Christ. I havent been living for him like I should. Especially with my "romantic getaways". I wouldnt even call them that. Even when I take a shower I feel all dirty inside. Ive been caught riding dirty but not this dirty. Anyways I'm gonna try and purify my body and life this summer. I need some freaken eggs or something. Adios. Current Mood:  dirty |
| Sunday, April 15th, 2007 |
| 10:56 pm |
So what a fucken waste
I am so sick and tired of living a meaningful life. I work go to class and then come home and by a fucken lazy ass bum. Sure I go out and drink here and there but I am sick and tired of being so lazy. I have even become so lazy to pray sometimes. Its a couple of older folks at work that drive me insane. I cannot wait till this summer, at least I will not have to deal with school. All the crap I am learning is pointless accept for my LIT class. European history I know and my religion teacher is stupid. As far as hope I have kinda lost a little of that. I am not depressed or anything I am just sick and tired of the same ole shit. I cant find a new job, and I cant afford to move out. Or maybe I am not ready. My life is a bunch of questions. I am just really angry inside sometimes. I need something new in my life to sweep me out of my shoes, and bring back the fire I once had for living life. |
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